LIFESTYLE-Magazine-Winter-2016

In each edition of LIFE : STYLE magazine we ask four people from varying ethnic backgrounds to form a panel and discuss the rich diversity which forms our communities interviews by Sarah Rigg

My 29-year-old son has just actuallymoved back homewith hismumso I guess he is part of this boomerang generation. It ismuch harder for the kids to find affordable housing these days never mind get amortgage. I brieflymoved backwith my parents in Dublinwhen I split frommy first wife aer four and a half years of marriage, but back in our day – whenwemoved out – it was generally for good andwe stood on our own two feet. I can see the benefit of generations living together these days, though. 3. In a study for a national food company two out of three families interviewed claimed they were too busy to eat together, while five out of 10 homes now have dinner round the TV– an increase from four out of 10 five years ago. Researchers also found one in five people eat at their computer screen at least four times a week because of longer working hours. How important is it for you to come together for food with family members? Does it happen oen? Marcin Kominek - Polish In recent years, people are preoccupiedwith work and duties of everyday life.We spend less timewith family, friends and the best formof contact is the internet. Unfortunately, we do not eat commonmeals. Everyone is busy with their affairs, and has no time for any conversation. In themeantime, enjoying the time at the computer orTVscreen, eating the soup or chicken, it is very sad. I luckily separate these two issues and I always eat breakfast, lunch or supper as taught tome bymy parents - without a computer, the Internet orTV. David Render -White/English I think it's important to spend time together at mealtimes. It doesn't happen oen enough due to shipaerns at work. I ama police officer andwork twoweekends out of three and a lot of evening shis. My partner worksMonday to Friday 8am– 6pmand has weekends off, but I work two out of every threeweekends. It is tough to get quality time together these days. Munsif Dad - British/Kashmiri Me andmy children all work at different start/finish times, so it is difficult to have ameal together in the evening.

However, during the fastingmonth of Ramadan it gives us, as a family an opportunity to eat at the same time. As for watchingTV, checking smart phones and use of computers, that is something that happens quite oen duringmeal times in our home. It is essential for families to eat together especially if you prepare your own food and that it is not takeaway. Tommy Fox - Irish At least once a week, usually on aThursday, my kids pile round here for their tea. Sometimes wewill go off to a café and have our dinner together, which I enjoy. It benefits our relationship to eat together greatly I’msure. It was how I was brought up as a kid in Ireland.Wewould always have breakfast together before school and tea aer. My seven brothers and sisters still live together in Kildare now, (Dublin became too expensive for them) and they still make time to eat together with our cousins.We get over there once a year at least for a visit. 4. Paerns of family life have become increasingly diverse over the past thirty years among white people in Britain and other North European countries. Family relationships are said to be moving away from “old fashioned values” towards “modern individualism”. What are your views on couples living together before marriage and sex before marriage? If for or against, perhaps you could explain the pros and cons of each in your view. Marcin Kominek - Polish Yes, I fully agree that the paerns of family life are different than thirty years ago. Nowadays, young peoplewant to live together, to check their relationshipwill work in the long termor simply share costs and expenses. I think that sex beforemarriage is a personal maer for each person. David Render -White/English We are sexual beings and that is why sex has always been, is andwill be amaer of great importance, especially because it is a common desire in everyone. Sex is also one of the greatest tools of intimacy between couples. However if it's someone's religious beliefs to not have sex beforemarriage I don't have a problemwith that. Everyone is different. Munsif Dad - British/Kashmiri Mymarriagewas arranged; bothmy parents and in-laws are first cousins, I knewmy wife andwewere both consulted and consented. But, my childrenmarriages were different, my eldest son and daughter havemarried someone of their own choicewith our blessings. I amseeing changes to culture of marriages with being arrangedwith consent of both parents and children and nowwith some individualsmarrying a partner of their own choice. My personal opinion is that you choose your partner in consultation with parents, to decidewho you want tomarry but living together and sex before marriage is not something that I approve of. Tommy Fox - Irish If you’d askedme this question 40 years ago I would have said I didn’t agreewith living together or sex beforemarriage. Back inmy day it wasn’t done. Yes it was heard of – but just not done inmy family! Nowmy views are very different. My kids have livedwith partners, to try out the relationship before taking that next step tomarriage. I thinkmy views have changed because I have twomarriages behindme. Living together for a goodwhile, perhaps two years or so is a good idea.

Above: Top to bottom - Marcin Kominek, Dave Render, Munsif Dad and Tommy Fox

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